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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Who's Your Crush

Greenwich Village. 1958. 

In honor of Valentine’s Day Sophie thought we should ask people about their crushes. AND, Sophie sez, we should rate how cool they are.

Because...Valentine’s can be really boring when you’re a kid.

 Crush: a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special

Ruby (aka me): Can you have more than one?
1.       Jack Kerouac
2.      Gregory Corso

Invented cool, poetically.

Cool Rating: 7 billion on a 1 to 10 scale

Sophie: “Thinking about it.”

Aw, c’mon! (Pause.) (Says she’s still thinking.)

Nell-mom: “Well, I haven’t had a crush in a really long time.”

I scowl at her.

Nell:mom: “My first crush was on Frank Sinatra. Everything he did seemed effortless. But you always felt like he was singing just to you.”

Rating: 15 on a 1 to 10 scale

Gary Daddy-o: Audrey Hepburn

“Best actress in the world. Beautiful. Smart. Like your mom.”

Rating: 12 out of 10

Mrs. Tanya, aka Sophie’s mom: Clark Gable

“The sexiest man in the kingdom. I was 10 when I fell head over heels in love.”

30 out of 10 (Sophie)
12 out of 10 (Ruby, ‘cause he’s old)

Cyn at the leotard store: James Dean

“Because he was and always will be the Rebel Without a Cause. Because he lived too hard and died too young. Because he never faked anything, including his acting.”

Rating: 2 million

“’You know how to whistle, don’t ya, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.’ She is the definition of cool.”

Rating: 50 (Sophie and Ruby)
Uncountable (Ray)

“C’mon, do I really have to give you a reason? “


“Not only is she the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s funny. She can make you laugh and make you fall in love all at the same time. She moves like a panther and she’s sweet, like a little girl, but more of a grown-up little girl that knows how to turn everything she does into an adventure.”

Cool rating: 375 (Sophie)
Cool rating: Infinitesimal (Gordy)

Sky: my wife Bluma

“She’s the coolest woman in the world. There’s no rating that can touch her.”

12 out of 10 (Ruby)
9 out of 10 (Sophie)


“Well, Sky, of course. But my first crush was Chuck Berry.

“NO one plays and sings like he does -- and no one ever will. Makes you want to stop whatever you’re doing and move. Takes you out of the world you’re in and makes you want to sing, even if you can’t sing, and dance and swim and fly. Forever.”

Rating: 30 zillion

“He’s the best, pure and simple. No one can beat him.”

8 out of 10 (Ruby)
7 out of 10 (Sophie)
3 million (Elena)


1. Natalie Wood - "because she's a great actress and almost as beautiful as my Elena, too."
Rating: 100 percent of the highest number in the world (edged up by Ruby)

2. Connie Francis - “Just give a listen to ‘Who’s Sorry Now’. Then tell me she’s not the coolest singer in the world.”

Rating: 8 (but much higher for Jimmy)

“Hot, cool, brilliant, and the bravest woman I know. No one sings it like Nina and no one can. She makes you feel all the sorrow, all the pain and all the joy in one note, one smile, one song. She’s an empress.”

Rating: Off the charts

Les: Nina. Agree with everything Bo says.
Okay, Sophie, it’s YOUR turn. C’mon!

Sophie: Can I have three?



Gene Kelly – Even if you can’t dance, you want to learn so you can dance with him. He makes it look fun! He understands comic timing. He’s not afraid to try anything. And I love his voice. I mean speaking voice.
Harry Belafonte – He can do anything. Sing, Act. Anything. When he starts singing, you have to drop whatever you’re doing and listen. You just want him to smile at you.
Johnny Mathis – the dreamiest. Just want to be with him forever, like the definition of a crush is supposed to be.

Rating: Infinitesimal

No one’s crush: Elvis Presley
Rating: 5 to 10?

Not sure why no one has a crush on him. But we’re Beats.  If the rest of the world has a crush on him, we probably won't.

What about you? Who's your crush? Tell me here or send an e-mail to The Beat on Ruby's Street author. & hope you have/had/will have... a happy Valentine's Day.

--Ruby T.

Ray: family photo
Mermaid: Andrew Stawarz
Elena: Tom Merton