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Saturday, May 16, 2015

Horror Movie Heroine

Greenwich Village, 1958.

Are you a horror movie fan? Did you know fan is short for fanatic? I wasn’t until my dad took me to see Tarantula a few years back and I was hooked. (Mom didn’t know he took me, so “mum’s the word,” okay?)

What could be better than a huge spider with red eyes, except maybe some other monster like Godzilla? Ruby loves horror stories too, but we can’t take Sophie because all she does for the whole movie is close her eyes and shriek. And I mean shriek.

Rubes says Sophie would be a great horror-movie heroine, though, but she’d have to go through the entire movie with her eyes closed. I don’t know how she’d get through even the first five minutes.

But Ruby says we should write our own horror movie. I say, yeah, well, fine. But who’s going to write it? “We three,” she says, and I say neither Sophie or I are writers. “Don’t let that stop you,” she says.

Meanwhile, my favorite movie is The Cyclops. It’s about this test pilot Bruce who goes missing and his girlfriend sets up a search party and they go out to Mexico. They find him and radiation has turned him into this howling giant with one eye. Ruby said do NOT tell you the end in case you want to see it. But Sophie can’t even hear ABOUT it. Or she screams.

Rubes really liked that movie too but I think her favorite is The Crawling Eye. The thing of it is, she says it’s scary but funny, and she laughs through most of it, which I don’t think is fair. A horror movie is supposed to scare you. Rubes says it can scare you a little and tickle your funny bone.

Jury’s out for me.

Sophie did let us take her to one movie, Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman. Nothing really terrible happens in it except this woman gets really, really huge and gets mad at her husband and takes revenge on him for cheating on her. And by the way, she’s absolutely gorgeous, which is the only reason I went to see it.

I pay for all the movies we see, since Sophie mostly can’t go and Rubes doesn’t have the money. Sophie paid for this one, though.

Why do I like (no, LOVE) horror movies? That’s easy. Life is scary. You need something really BIG to scare you out of being scared of it. Because if you think about it, anything can happen, even on the most ordinary day. And it can be really, really bad. Know what I mean?

As for the horror movie we’re writing, well, it’s not quite ready yet. The only thing I can tell you is that since she saw Fifty Foot Woman, Sophie insists on starring in whatever we write.


--Gordy

Horror movie screamerL’orso Sul Monociclo