Who are the people we don’t see? This year, I
started volunteering in a long-term care center for older adults. If I didn’t
volunteer, I would never see the people here or know what is going on in their
lives. I see them only at dinner time once a month, and they are all incredible
people.
One woman knows my name and always greets me with a smile. They always thank me for being there and love the fact that I can help bring them to dinner and back. (Who else would praise me for that)?
One woman knows my name and always greets me with a smile. They always thank me for being there and love the fact that I can help bring them to dinner and back. (Who else would praise me for that)?
One couple who sits in the corner met each other in
high school where they went out dancing. The woman recalls that she bought a
new dress every week for her dancing date. The man likes telling his lady
stories, and the fact that she has memory issues is a plus, because he can tell
them over and over again and she doesn’t mind.
Another woman thought it was “cute” that I spoke
into the wrong ear when trying to talk to a specific gentleman. (I won’t do
that again, cute or not). Some people can’t talk or move well and need
assistance when eating (which the nurses’ aides do). Still, they smile and
communicate a lot about their emotions with their eyes.
Yet, I also get the
sense that many wish they had more visitors, whether they were family or friends.
I think being older in general is the last frontier. Older generations are
isolated, ignored, warehoused and feared. We are all afraid of getting old and
being ignored, so we ignore older people.
How’s that working for
us?
When I created Ruby
for my book, I wanted her to see everyone and everything around her (because writers
NEED to do that. She may be the only person in her neighborhood who talks with
Yogi, the homeless man. When we stop seeing each other, we lose something of
ourselves, I think, too—whatever it is that makes us most human.
At the same time, I
know we are all busy and it’s hard to stop and see each other. I just wonder if
it isn’t something we should try, though, now and again? What would happen if
you noticed someone on your street, in your neighborhood, school, the local
long-term care center? Would they notice you back? How many could you notice in
a week?
What happens when you
talk to someone who most people treat as invisible? Do you think you’ll ever be
treated that way—or are you being treated that way now?
If you have any
experience with what I’m talking about, I’d love to hear your response. If you’re
a writer, I hope you are already seeing the invisible—whether you write about
it or not.
Older Man Photo: Acy Varlan
Older Man Photo: Acy Varlan
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