Saturday, October 29, 2016

Fighting Words

Are your kids fighting (right now)? Are you at a loss to stop it? I have wished many times I could have had more than one, but when I see kids on an endless fighting loop, I am sometimes glad that one was what I had.

My son's stepbrother came to visit periodically and everything went smoothly for the first part of the weekend and then jumped into stress and insanity for the second. This included things like the older brother (MY son) dangling younger brother over the roof.

Not good.

Though I tended to see younger brother as an angel, I am sure he had his moments too. Both my husband and I found it very difficult to referee (exhausted as we were from work and life) - so I don't think we did too good a job of calming things down.

Somehow, these boys grew up and are now very close and think the world of each other. But if they both lived here every day, I wonder how I would have controlled the craziness.

When you have more than one, do you have to be super hands-on about getting kids involved in the day's activities? Bribe them not to argue? Make sure there are sticky, nasty consequences for sticky, nasty fights?

Parents of twins, parents of more than one sibling, grandparents, baby sitters... how do you do it? I think I would be bald and frothing at the mouth after two days.

I once saw one of those "nanny" programs about a British nanny who came in and "fixed" a family. I should have written down what she did but I was too fascinated by watching and then forgot about it later. I do wonder if that family stayed "fixed?"

My husband had three siblings, two older and one younger. He describes his older sister as Angelica "You dumb babies!" from rugrats and talks about his older brother's sucker punch in the back when he would walk by. He also recalls being wrapped up in a rug and thrown down a laundry chute.

Did I tell you this before?

My own sister was seven and a half years older and didn't much want me around. We did have some fights but our age gap was so large we were probably better than most, and she left home to get married when I was about 12.

If kids are fighting incessantly, I guess I would try to save up as much money as I possibly could so I could move to another house.

But if you want better advice, I found some for you. And PLEASE jump in if you have your own ideas...

Six Ways to Stop Sibling Fighting

Your Kids' Constant Fighting Driving You Nuts?

Six Ways to Stop Sibling Bickering and Rivalry

(What is it about the number six and advice columns)???

Photo of children fighting: Steven Depolo


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