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Monday, June 12, 2017

If Kids Don't Like Change - Do YOU?

Changes, risk, turning points -- how do you deal with them? People say it gets harder to deal wit the older you get, and I don't disagree.

On the other hand, there is something in me that wants to take the risk, even though it may be stressful or may not turn out the way I'm hoping.

I don't always know why I feel this way; sometimes it 's more about compulsion and impulse. But I've become the type of person who needs to be "85% sure" when I take a leap that I'll get to the other side intact. So I'm hoping the risk I'm thinking of taking (selling our house) turns out the way I want it to.

If it doesn't... do I have a backup plan? Kinda sorta, but not much of one. My husband is wary of making this move, but I believe in my heart it's worth trying. I hope I turn out to be right, and I will take responsibility if I'm wrong.

But still.

Change is scary, and it's scaring me. I'm trying to fight that because I believe there is a good chance of finding a better house or at least a newer one that doesn't require so much maintenance. (We live in an "It's a Wonderful Life" type house - which I love some days and which drives me crazy on others.) 
On the other hand, there are a lot of reasons to stay here. So.

Which road to take? Which is the one less traveled and why do I seem to gravitate toward that road?

I don't know, really. I think we are sometimes wired to want something better, whatever we think that means for us.

As a child there was very little change in my life, save for moving once when I was little. I changed schools in seventh grade (and hated it), though high school was better and college better still. I've heard that people with traumatic childhoods have the worst time with change, and I understand how that applies to me.

When my son was a child, he had to deal with his parents divorcing, and I still feel guilty about that. But I'm grateful to see what a wonderful young man he's become (in spite of his parents' messes). Change is scary, but it can teach us resilience in ways nothing else can.

This post was supposed to be about how to help your kids deal with change, but I don't think there really is a good way of doing that. On the other hand, maybe just learning how to deal with change yourself -- and then modeling that -- is the best way to go.

If your kids are dealing with changes, you might want to check out these articles: