Moving? Get Your Kids on Board Before You Go

My first move happened when I was four. My family and I left a smallish house for a larger one in a different town. I hadn't started kindergarten yet and it was no big deal. My sister, on the other hand, was about to start junior high, and it was tougher to leave her friends behind and go to an entirely new school. As it turned out, she hated it.

My husband also talks about having to move at age ten, and being miserable leaving all his good friends behind. Right now, we are engaged in moving (if all goes well), and I have to say, the end result may be better, but it's extremely stressful. Selling a home allows us to buy a new one, but we haven't found a place yet, so will be staying in temporary digs until we do. 

At this point, we don't have kids, or at least, not young ones, but I understand and sympathize with all the parents out there who do. I remember moving with my son when he was four and his father and I were splitting up. In many ways it was lucky too, because he would still see many of his old friends at his dad's house, and he hadn't started kindergarten yet either. 

In other ways, it was hard for him to move out of a home where both of his parents lived together, and start a new life as a child of divorced parents going back and forth. Some days he called his dad crying, because he just missed him.

One day, in fact, I brought my son to my then-boyfriend's cabin up north, and he called his father in tears because of missing him. While my son was talking, he looked at his belly button and told his father there was a bug in it. That bug turned out to be a tick, which was, to say the least, embarrassing! Of course we removed it and we all survived.

But moving is hard. It brings up all sorts of feelings about home and transience and the fear of the unknown. It is great if you and your kids can see it as an adventure, but sometimes you can't. I still believe there are things you can tell your child though, to help:

1. He/she will always be home, even if it's miles away from where your child used to live, because the important thing about home isn't a building. It's family.

2. You will do whatever you possibly can to find a school he or she likes, even if the first one doesn't work out. 

3. You will scope out the schools beforehand.

4. He/she can have a real say in how his/her room looks and is decorated.

5. Making friends takes time, but it will happen. You, as parents, will be sure to make time for family activities at least once or twice a week.

Other tips I found for making moves easier on your kids may be found here:

Good move: How to Make Moving Easier on Kinds

Ten Steps to Make Moving with Kids Easier

How to Make Moving Easier for Children

Child Hiding: Un bolshakov