The Yogurt Chronicles

In the beginning, there was yogurt, and as you probably know, it didn't have flavoring. When I was growing up, we had plain yogurt with bananas and sugar, which I loved.


(We also had diet soda, which my mother loved, and got so used to it I had a long addictive with it. Took all my will to break that addiction, and maybe I haven't yet, but at least I'm not drinking it any more).

But. 

Back to yogurt. As I got older, there were more possibilities for yogurt, including vanilla, and fruit-on-the-bottom options; then, as an adult, I fell in love, and it was really love, with Stonyfield Farm Chocolate Underground.

I ate this yogurt for years and years -- even though my mother in law made fun of it -- snatching the last one at grocery stores if I had to, though I always had a guilty conscience. (What if there was someone else like me, desperately needing a fix of this stuff)?

Second best was Chobani pineapple yogurt, which one of my colleagues at work couldn't stand, but again, was one of my favorites. And, dear reader, I could have been happy like this, forever, until I got a condition that forced me to give up sugar (which, by the way, is in nearly everything).

So, I switched back to plain yogurt, thinking how ironic it was that I was more or less returning to my childhood full circle, except without the sugar. I tried putting raisins in at first, and that worked pretty well, until I read that raisins are loaded with the kind of sugar that's bad for you (unlike fresh fruit) and I had to stop those, too.

I have managed to hang on for quite a while now using grapes and pineapple in my yogurt, and hoping the winter doesn't take the taste out of these sweet fruits. But what's interesting is that, while there was barely ever any Chocolate Underground on the shelves (and sometimes I had to go to FOUR grocery stores to find them), you would think plain would be available everywhere, right?

Because plain has basically no flavor. Because plain is not fun to eat.

But in fact, it is almost as hard to find plain yogurt in small cups as it is the chocolate kind. My sick mind keeps wondering why, because who in their right mind would be gobbling up plain yogurt unless you have to?

Then last week at a workshop in Door County, a male actor started talking about how he preferred plain yogurt with fruit to all the flavored kind, and other actors of both genders agreed.

I was eating yogurt at the time, and nearly choked on it.

Is this a new trend? Really? When there is all that lovely Chocolate Underground and Pineapple yogurt on the shelves?

Sigh. Not only do I have to eat a yogurt I hate, but I have to fight you all for it?

I can hear you all now, saying it is what it is. If there is a moral to this story, and I hope there isn't, could it be that parents should never give their children any flavored yogurt (or sugar) so they won't buy up pound after pound of grapes and pineapple, trying to approximate their flavored yogurt days?

I don't know, but that's what I think it might be. And if you actually like plain yogurt, I stand in awe of you.

And if you want to help your kids like plain yogurt better or you're looking for yogurt brands for your kids, I found a few ideas:

Great Ways to Sweeten Your Plain Yogurt

The Best Yogurts for Toddlers

Plain Yogurt Never Tasted So Good


Little Screamer: Greg Westfall

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