Story of a Family

Just came from a wonderful "shower" party, given by two friends who have decided to become foster parents. I have never known any foster parents, though of course I know about foster programs and have read several accounts from both parents and children who were involved.

Because I know this couple and how incredible they are with kids--both are therapists and one created a truly singular theater (where, full disclosure, one of my plays was produced)--I know that both parents will be stellar. That doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road--there always are. But it does mean whatever children come into this couple's world are going to find a place to heal, and a place that will nurture them.

I'm not sharing names right now to protect the couple's privacy--but I do want to share that while I know several people who were adopted (some pretty well), it's not something I think about a lot, or at least not unless prompted in some way. Yet, as you and I are sitting here on this damp December day, hundreds of children in our state and hundreds of thousands throughout the country are either being separated from a parent or are losing or have lost one. Others may have run away from dysfunction.

I think of the children's home I wrote about in The Beat on Ruby's Street, and the children Ruby met there. And I think of how little time we spend thinking about those children, on their hopes, dreams, fears, and on the stories they tell.

What I think this couple will do best is respect those children's stories, because they themselves know the power each story has in the people it reaches every day. They know stories are, in fact, what makes us most like who we are, because they are what we use and need to process the world around us.

This particular couple's story is about to take a monumental and adventurous turn, and while some people might be terrified, they are walking into that adventure with open eyes and hearts--and I can't wait to see how their stories widen and change in the months ahead.

On the way home, my husband said he volunteered us to babysit when we were asked to write out what we wanted to give to the couple and their new family. He also wrote that the children would give them laughter and a great excuse to watch cartoons. All of this made me remember how, when my son was barely 6, we adopted this man into our homes and lives, and how he adopted us too, and how lucky it was that we found each other, against all odds and expectations. And how lucky we are, still.

I guess somehow, sometimes, things really do turn out the way you want them to. It's not an accident, and it takes years and years of doing the very difficult work that goes into knowing yourself and the people around you--and figuring out how to live with integrity and confidence.

But when it works, it works better than you'd ever think it would. And that, I guess, is the reason we're all here.

To learn more about foster parents, you might want to look at these articles. There are a ton more out there, too.

About Foster Parenting
Foster Care vs. Adoption
Is Foster Adoption Right for Me?


Family photo: xelusionx

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