Thinking today about high school, of all things, probably because of a dream I had of getting on a bus to go to work and winding up at school instead.
When I was in high school, I was of two minds: fit in and not fit in. I was pretty loud, much louder than I am now, and loved playing the clown and making people laugh. (Sometimes I still do). So I was pretty surprised when my history teacher in junior year compared me to The Sterile Cuckoo.
To be fair, she was comparing me to the lead character, named Pookie and played by Liza Minnelli in the movie. I hadn't yet seen it, but when my history teacher said I reminded her of the character, of course I had to go.
Though she won a Best Actress Oscar for playing the role, I think The Sterile Cuckoo is one of the few movies Minnelli did that people don't remember (and if you haven't seen it, you can find it on Amazon Prime). It may be that roles like Sally Bowles in Cabaret were flashier, but I honestly think she did some of her strongest work in the Sterile Cuckoo film. When I saw it, part of me adored the character and was really happy that someone thought she was like me.
On the other hand, the character was also a train wreck who has a nervous breakdown because her boyfriend breaks up with her--and that wasn't what I wanted to see. The crazy thing was that a year later I started going out with a guy who was a bit older. I saw him for about three years and about half of that made me as miserable as--yeah. The Sterile Cuckoo.
The character Minnelli plays is funny, quick, lonely, uncomfortably needy and brave. She pounces like a cat onto the life of a shy young man who, in spite of his shyness, falls in love with her. He soon realizes he is unable to be the everything she needs, and spends the last half of the film trying to leave her. The fact that he tries to do this compassionately makes the film even stronger and heartbreaking at the same time.
There is one scene that Minnelli does that still stays with me. I believe she is in a car, looking up her boyfriend, and when he says something about spending time apart, she doesn't answer him. Instead, she covers her mouth and looks at him, and her huge, dark eyes show us everything she is feeling at that moment. I remember it, I know, because it is an unforgettable scene.
When I think back on my younger self, I see why my history teacher said I reminded her of Pookie. I wore my heart on my sleeve when I was a teenager, and I'v learned to hide most of it since then. Writing about the young characters in the Beat Street Series lets me go back there sometimes, into a world where it's OK to take risks and turn yourself inside out.
Sally Bowles in Cabaret--also played by Liza Minnelli--did that too, but she was much less vulnerable than Pookie. That's probably why more people think of Liza as Sally--because Pookie exposes us to ourselves in much more intensity. So although I'd rather be Sally in my own little saga, I know at least part of my life I was closer to Pookie. I think that's okay, though. When I first saw the movie, I thought she was destroyed at the end of the film.
Now I know that even if she was, she picked herself up and got moving again. Like I would. Like we do.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please be courteous and please do not post ads for your business on this blog.