A Tale of Two Burger Joints

Childhood snapshot. 

On Sunday mornings my mother set out a huge spread: eggs, whitefish, bagels, lox and cream cheese. She cooked dinner and made lunches and breakfasts the rest of the week, but Sunday night had found its way to being burger night--and those came from a spot in Fort Lee, NJ called Hiram's.

I have no idea who originally selected Hiram's (I have a feeling it was my dad) but every Sunday evening, without fail, this is what we had--burgers and buns, relish (bought at the store), ketchup and French Fries. 

Though my mom was a really good cook (much better than her daughters), I loved those burger nights. Things seemed less stressful, somehow, when all you had to do was pick up burgers. I used to love riding with my dad to get them in the car.

Then one night, a funny thing happened. Hiram's, for whatever reason, was temporarily closed. We knew it wasn't long-term (and I shudder to think why, these were not the world's cleanest burger joints) -- but no one was getting into Hiram's that night.

Instead, my father bought our burgers from a place called Callahan's, that was right next door. I have to say it was a big, big deal and we weren't sure any of us would survive -- being something patrons didn't do at either place.

WHY there were two burger joints right next to each other, I will never know--and how did they stay supported? Was it that Irish Catholics went to Callahan's and Jewish people went to Hiram's? Where did the Christian/Hindu/Buddhist/Mormon/Sikh people go? I'm assuming Fort Lee had those and more.

As I recall, the burgers at Callahan's were a little tastier than the ones at Hiram's -- but that could have been the quote-unquote novelty. I guess it was more or less like Burger King and McDonald's being right across the parking lot from each other. But I've never had a burger from either of those two places that came close to Hiram's or Callahan's.

I found out that Callahan's closed in 2006, and Hiram's was actually owned by Catholics, so my Jewish theory was wrong. I do know that people who ate at Hiram's wouldn't set foot in Callahan's and the Callahan's peeps wouldn't go to Hiram's. And Hiram's was more or less the classic roadhouse while Callahan's went a bit more upscale.

I take a teeny bit of comfort in knowing Hiram's is still open, but I would honestly have been OK if Hiram's had closed and Callahan's had stayed. I just want one of them to stay open in this Burger-King world. And if I ever do get back to Fort Lee NJ, I think I'll have to at least stop in, though I'm not sure I'd have a burger.

I'll always love my Sunday night memories, though. And I'm glad I got to try both--shhh! As long as you don't tell anyone. 

Found a great article about Hiram's and Callahan's here.

Burger Joint Photo:  Damian Gadal