To Save Your Own Life

Years ago (can't remember when exactly), I was on a plane going to Canada to meet my son's dad, who was applying for a job there. There had recently been a story in the news about someone setting off a bomb on a plane that ended up sucking out an adult and child, thousands of feet in the air. I still shudder to think about it.

For some unexplainable reason, the man sitting next to me had to let me know that he and I were in the exact same seats that the victims of the bombing attack were sitting in. Of course, it was a whole different plane and airline, but hearing about it didn't exactly make my trip better. I was already in a jittery mood, and certainly needed no help with that.

I tried to talk myself down off the ledge for a while, but it wasn't working because I couldn't stop thinking about the bombing. The man kept droning on too, about this or that attack or terrorists in general. Finally I decided to pull out my notebook--which has saved my life numerous times or at least my sanity. I started writing about the week, a play I was working on and even my row-mate's running commentary. Finally, he stopped talking and I could write without interruption for a while.

On another plane ride, I was extremely upset because an editor at Farrar Strauss who had liked my early draft of The Beat on Ruby's Street had decided to pass on it. I couldn't stop feeling blue until I opened my notebook and created the beginning paragraphs of a whole new book idea. I never went anywhere with it, but I can tell you writing it made me feel like I still had something to say, no matter what anyone else thought of it.

There are a lot of experiences I could share that are similar; something ugly happens, I try to get beyond it and can't, and finally turn to writing. A friend calls it "writing to save your own life" and it's been one of the only things that has made me feel truly better. Meditation works too, but not nearly as well.

So bring that notebook and pen with you if you still have one. If not, use the note app on your phone or pull out your ipad or laptop. Because writing to make sense of life is important; but writing to save your own life may be the best writing you ever do.

Plane photo: Sean MacEntee