Rooms You Left

 I found you at an adoption fair at a pet store in St. Paul. You had a beautiful orange and white coat and looked out from a carrier with sad, green eyes. The woman in charge of adoptions called you Nala, and said you were found on a farm with other kittens where the neighbor kids wanted to use the kittens as "target practice."

Being someone who makes up stories, I knew in my heart it wasn't just a story someone made up. And I knew I wanted to take you home. When I reached for you, there was a step back as you recoiled. I put you down down and vowed you would be safe with our family.

I brought you home and we decided you were a Sydney. When my son and I left for a visit with his grandfather, you emerged from my son's room and jumped onto the couch to curl up next to my husband, Pete. Of course, he is the one person in our family with cat allergies - though he said he wanted a cat and told me it was okay to adopt one.

I worried about how Pete would react to you, but he insisted it was going to be okay. He took Allegra, which seemed to help, and in the past few years, air purifiers helped too. I always felt a bit guilty, but he loved you so much and you were such a constant presence in our lives, curling your tail around our wrists and filling our lives with cuddle purrs. It was impossible to sit down without you being there--and that's how we wanted it, anyway.  As the years passed, your fear of people got better, to where you were fine with strangers petting you and eeryone did, as captivated as I had been.

Some people say animals have no souls but I can't believe that, seeing yours. Sweet, gentle, loving, playful soul. We've had seventeen years, with the grace cats bring to daily life that makes it shine in ways it never would otherwise. 

Three months ago, we discovered you had bladder cancer, and tried the medicine available to us to slow down the spread. Today, we had to say goodbye to keep you from suffering. Yet your presence is still all around us and I can feel the lack of it on my lap everywhere I go.

I know we had to give you up, Sydney, and we'll always cherish our time with you. But right now, the rooms you left are filled with tears.