That German Word

Have you ever been happy when something bad happens to someone you hate? The Germans call it Schadenfreude--joy in another's misfortune. While interesting people in Germany actually created a word for this emotion, you know it's present in every other country--and language.

For example, the Japanese are supposed to have a saying that announces, "The misfortune of others tastes like honey." French people call schadenfreude "joie maligne," delight in other's suffering. The Danes call it "skadefryd," Russians say "zloradstvo" and even in New Guinea they have this word, and call it "banbanam."

Still, I don't think it's great for you, UNLESS you happen to be writing fiction or plays. In THAT case, you need at least a little if you want to punish the characters who are torturing your main characters. The problem is, villains rarely get punished in life, so it's hard to believe it when you see that happening in fiction. In fact, when's the last time you saw villains getting what you think they deserved? A Disney movie, maybe? 

I think it takes a really clever writer to create Schadenfreude. It needs to be believable, and the "bad" characters somehow need to lead themselves there rather than being led. The other thing about villains is they can be a lot more interesting than your main characters and you have to watch that. 

Some years ago I was at a Renaissance Faire and stopped to watch a human chess game story. The "villain" had run off with a so-called princess and her groom-to-be had to rescue her. The villain kept challenging the groom because he hadn't really met the bride and was trying to rescue her out of chivalry. 

A lot of fighting occurred, this being the Renaissance Faire, with swords, fists, you name it. At the end, the villain forfeited the princess and she came out onto the stage, swearing and yelling. She was an absolute tyrant and as the groom's face contracted in horror, the villain couldn't stop laughing. The audience did too, and I loved the idea of everything in the story being the opposite of what you were expecting.

Yet I did feel sorry for the groom--so I wouldn't call it Schadenfreude. It is a good example, though, of how the way villains are being written has changed.

Writing about the Beat Generation, which was trying to turn convention on its head, is making me try to be very careful about antagonists who don't like Beats. I had to think long and hard about how my main character Ruby felt about social workers and how they treated her mom. In Fool's Errand, book 2 of the Beat Street Series, I wanted to explore how the social Mrs. Levitt turned Ruby's impression of her on its head, too.

All this is to say I haven't found a way to get any schadenfreude into my series (yet). I'm trying to decide if there's some in my plays, but that'll take a while to sort out. In the meantime, I probably (secretly) experience a little bit of schadenfreude now and then, but I'm trying to keep that mostly fictional. 

Of course I do have to say "mostly." And I hope (think) you understand.

Schadenfreude photo: Tu

What's with those Good Guys? Heroes, Villains and Children's Movies

My son was barely four years old when he asked me a question that nearly took my breath away.

“How come the good guys always win on TV?”

I fished around for a minute and came up with the tried-and-true parental time saver.

“What?”

He repeated the question, waiting patiently for my answer.

“I’m not sure what you mean, honey. Can you explain?” I asked.

“There are bad guys, but they always lose. Why?”

He himself had lost quite a bit of something in the past year, as his dad and I had divorced. His little question drove home to me that even a four year old understands that life isn’t always going to be pretty. So why, mommy, do children’s TV shows and movies make it seem like the good guys will always win?

If there was an award for the best question of the year, I would have loved to give it to him.

And, because I write for children and tweens as well as adults, I had to think long and hard about his question, and about my answer.

I think writers recoil at letting the bad guys win when they write for children, but then children, with their superb radars, catch us out at it. But while they know bad things happen, we haven’t figured out how to tell them so. I think we are afraid of frightening them. I certainly was.

I don’t remember exactly what I told my son that day, but it was along the lines of stories being different than reality, and the fact that stories kind of show us what we want to be like instead of who we really are.

At least, some stories, meaning stories for kids.

Years later, when I started writing The Beat on Ruby’s Street for tweens, I knew there was a lot of stuff that Ruby would go through that would make her feel like the bad guys were winning. The one thing I wanted her to have was a tool, just one, tiny tool that would help her deal with tough times.

Because bad stuff is just going to continue to happen, and somehow, we need to teach our kids to deal with it. At what times, and what ages, is the question of the year.

For resources on how to talk to your kids about tragedy, I found these:

·        How to Talk to Kids About Tragedies in the Media – Child Development Institute

·        Helping Children Cope: Tips for Talking about Tragedy by Mayo Clinic Staff

·        How to Help Kids Feel Safe After Tragedy by Grace Hwang Lynch