Talking to Me: Imagination and Your Child

A friend once described as someone with a "rich inner life," and I wasn't sure what I thought about that. It seemed like code for someone who walks down the street talking to herself; and OMG, I have to admit, I sometimes do.

I have a lot of characters in my head at any one time; I don't know why except being a writer, that's what you do. As a child I had imaginary friends and remember my mother standing at the top of the stairs once--I was in the basement--asking, "Who is she talking to?"

The funny thing about her question was that she was alone at the top of the stairs while asking it.

I was always devising stories with these so-called "friends," but in my defense I always knew the difference between them and the very real people around me. I'm not sure why I wanted/needed to create people and stories. It's just what I did (do) and I suspect it may be what every other writer does, too.

When my son was a child, I used to watch him playing with his toys and he too made up stories. He spoke out loud, unabashedly, as a child does; and I loved listening to how he would create the stories and dialogue for his "characters." He has not become a writer--he is a singer instead--and is starting to compose songs, which couldn't make me happier.

I don't know if we as parents know how to support creativity in our children, unless it is tangible, like painting, and yes, we can see a written story, but children seldom write their stories down until they are getting closer to middle-school age. (At least that's true for the ones I know).
 
If your toddler is making up stories and friends and creating scenarios, what do you do? If you've ever tried talking with your toddler about what he or she is doing, I can only say good luck! I never had much success with that. I think it's because children want to create their own private worlds, which is of course what writing is about. I think they NEED the privacy and space to do that. 

So perhaps the best thing we can do is leave them alone to "write" -- or more to the point, to learn to write. Because while you can get ideas anywhere at any time, you cannot write them down without taking the time to process and shape them. Which is why I think if you want to support your children's creativity, especially in the earliest years, the best thing you can do is leave them alone--and don't make them feel bad about their imaginary lives.

Because creativity isn't like learning to ride a bike or play baseball--it requires space, time, and imagination, you need to trust your child and be willing to let him or her experiment.  And if they grow into tweens and teens with "rich inner lives," so much the better.

Because talking to yourself doesn't (always) mean you don't know what's around you. It could just mean you know, but want to make it more interesting.

I learned a little more about all of this here:

Hello, My (Imaginary) Friend

Imaginary Friends: a Fun, Helpful and Normal Part of Childhood

How Imaginary Friends from our Childhood can Continue to Afffect Us as Adults

Imaginary friend photo: THX0477 

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