Ghosts in the Family

Though I don't celebrate much these days besides handing out candy, I still think there's lots to like about Halloween. 

For one thing, I love the way scary movies start to show up on October 1 and play through the end of the month. I like the idea of dressing up and trick or treating. (We left a tray of wrapped candies out in this pandemic year but no one came, and I wasn't really expecting them).

I'm also one of those people who loves costume parties and misses the horror movies when most seem to disappear after the holiday. I don't like the violent movies though - I'm much more a fan of ghost stories.

I've been thinking about it this week and decided the real ghost stories in our lives are actually family stories. Who are the ghosts I talk to sometimes, or wish I could see again?

I'll start with my father and mom. Ghost two would be my mother's sister, Aunt Ida, who was glamorous and had her own very strong sense of style. She was also full of life and I loved being around her. 

Another ghost would be my first babysitter - who I knew most of my life - Louisa Kennedy. I think Louisa was the first person to believe in me as a writer. She was a former dancer in the corps de ballet at the Metropolitan Opera, and though I didn't know how to articulate it, she was the first person to model what it meant to be an artist for me.

Louisa had long dark braids she wound around her head. She loved dancing and encouraged me to do it, as well as to sing. She laughed at my jokes and oohed and aahed about my drawings. You can probably tell I was crazy about her and would love to see her again.

Ghosts just don't seem to show up unless they're in movies, though. At least that's how it has been for me. But that doesn't mean they don't haunt us.

The ghost I seem to be most haunted by is my friend Susan, who died due to complications from ovarian cancer in 2015. Susan was brilliant and a spectacular dramaturge. She also edited my book The Beat on Ruby's Street while working at Scholastic Books as a copy editor. Last but in no way least, she was a compelling actor with a thrilling, low, expressive voice.

One of my favorite movies is Truly, Madly, Deeply about a woman whose deceased boyfriend returns to live with her. At first it is wonderful and then they stop getting along. I can't remember the exact quote (so don't quote me) :D - but one of her friends says something like "The dead are all around us!" at some point in the film.

I think that is true, whether they show themselves to us or not.  And on days when I'm really sad,  I can hear Susan telling me to buck up and throwing a quote or two at me.

Here's the one I found today, from the novelist and journalist Chuck Palahniuk (who wrote Fight Club among other books):

"We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."

I like this one too from Henry David Thoreau:

"Live your life, do your work, then take your hat."

Yeah. I like that.

 

 Ghost photo: Kevin Dooley