When I was twelve I had to change schools and it was one of the most traumatic things I ever did. I had been at my old school since I was six and now everyone stared when I entered the room and it was obvious I was a fish out of water.
We hadn't moved, but changing schools put me in the same position, and it was not a ride I welcomed. People were friendly at first and then one of the most popular girls wanted me to share answers with her on a math test. Little did she know how bad I was at math.
I ended up sharing answers with her, because I wanted her to like me very badly. We both ended up getting caught and having to dig our way out of things. That may or may not have been the start of her turning on me; middle school kids don't need a lot of reasons to be ugly. But not long after the math fiasco, this girl her friends decided I was their enemy. The year was pretty much a disaster. Everything I did or said was wrong, and I could barely go to school without cringing.
The only good thing that happened was halfway through the year, the teacher left to have a baby and a new teacher arrived. She sought me out to tell me how much she loved my writing, which gave me a tiny ray of hope that one day I'd meet other people who felt the same way.
Eighth grade was somewhat easier as I got into a class with different kids who were no where near as venomous. And leaving school for ninth grade was one of the happiest days of my life. The high school I chose was diverse and much more interesting than the insulated middle school environment I was trapped in. I moved on and never looked back.
Now, though, I am trying to figure out if there was anything my parents could have done to make the transition to a new school easier. It was pretty much sink or swim when I was the "new kid" - and I can't help but wonder if things have changed.
Is there a way to make your kid feel better about a new school or neighborhood when your family moves? Can you give them advice that is more than a cliche about "being themselves?" Artists tend to be outsiders anyway. How do you square that?
In writing The Beat on Ruby's Street and Fool's Errand, I had to climb inside the mind of a twelve-year-old outsider. I think the main character Ruby is struggling with a lot of the same issues I did, plus a few more. She finds solace in art and so do I-- but there has to be a better way to help kinds through transitions like moving.
Here's a few ideas I hope will help:
How to Help Kids Cope with Moving
Helping your child when they are changing schools
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