Anniversary Riff

When my son was six years old, I got married to my husband Pete and as it happened, the wedding day (October 8) took place on the Jewish holiday of Sukkot (which means Booths in English). The holiday commemorates the times when Israelites wandered in the desert on the way to the Holy Land and people build booths to celebrate.

As it also happened, my husband was not Jewish but we wanted to have a piece of the ceremony that would say something about the holiday. We didn't have a rabbi or a priest or minister, but I thought the Judge (Ann Alton, pictured here in the foreground) did a beautiful job. 

The sukkah is supposed to have four sides but an impermanent roof. The huppah, or canopy that Jewish couples stand under during marriage, is also made of cloth or something similar. The judge riffed on both the huppah and sukkah--and I loved what she said:

"It is the huppah that we stand under when we ae promising each other everything. It is raised for most of us only once in a lifetime. It is not permanent, but it is the promise of a home. Its openness pledges there will be no secrets. Friends and family stand at the corners, weighing the fragile structure down.

The huppah does not promise that love or hope or pledges will keep out weather or catastrophe, but its few lines are a sketch for what might be.

You have come together to celebrate your future together, the making of a home. We are reminded that the only thing that is real about a home is the people in it, who love and choose to be together, to be a family. The sukkah is the house of promises. It is the home of hope. So may it be for you now and forever.

This time of year, watching leaves fall and change, always makes me think of these passages. I feel lucky to be able to say that though life and marriage can be fragile, my husband and I keep choosing each other. 

And while words are fragile too, I thought it was time to write these down, so I remember them. Thank you for reading and visiting me today. I hope your marriages and promises make you happy, and that hope always finds you. Or at least, finds you when you need it most.