Beating the Lonely in Pandemic Times

Are you having a lonely day? I hope not, but I'm guessing at least half of the people reading this are. I work with a non-profit that serves older adults, and one of the first things I learned there was that isolation is as lethal as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

Divorce, death of a partner, moving to a new city, losing a job and trying to find another--each one of these events carries it's own loneliness with it. Finding new friends can be absolutely terrifying when you're new somewhere--to the point where all you want to do is stay in bed. Of course, that makes it even worse, which is why sometimes getting yourself to meet people is the most crucial thing you can do.

Except the pandemic has messed up our ability to go out and meet people big time. As life opens up a bit more, we depend on outdoor events, which is great, except again--a lot of them are still socially distanced. So how do you meet people and have real conversations?

Technology has stepped in as our surrogate friend these days--but for older people who are not comfortable with technology, that's a non-starter. So, what's available for them? I started checking this out because of where I work, but hope it's useful to anyone reading this. 

1. If you're a younger person and have a grandparent or neighbor who's lonely, please! Try and help them figure out their technology. Things like FaceTime can really make a huge difference in their lives and don't take that much time to figure out.

2. If you yourself are wondering how to navigate Zoom and other technologies, there are organizations that can help you. Generations on Line offers online tutoring to older adults for free. 

Another group called Cyber Seniors pairs older adults with high school or college students who serve as technology mentors. You can book a one-to-one call and hopefully at some point soon, meet up with a student in person.

Senior Planet is another group with online classes and resources.

3. But even while writing this I know there are people out there who still don't feel up to learning about technology. I've done a little research and found out there are churches and synagogues where you can attend in-person services in cities and towns all around the country. Yes, there is masking and social distancing--but that doesn't mean you can't meet people--starting with the clergy. Many senior centers are open now, too.

If you're still worried about attending in-person events--especially indoors in winter--I understand. I just want to tell you not to give up, because as more people get vaccinated and more become immune to COVID, more and more groups and organizations will open their doors. When they do, I hope you'll walk inside--because they need you, even if they don't know it yet. They need your stories, life experience, humor and talent. They need your courage, which you've shown throughout your life.

So make a call. Stop by. Go inside (or outside). We need you. We need to know you. We all do.

Friends Photo: Jesse Wagstaff