Call and Response

I'm reading an article about friendship by Jennifer Senior in Atlantic right now, titled "It's Your Friends Who Break Your Heart." While I can't say breaking up with a spouse is easier (even in the slightest) I do agree that friends are much more important than we give them credit for.

Two years into the coronavirus pandemic, I am sorely missing the company of friends and am starting to come up with ideas for how to see them. 

This week, the promise of spring (and lower case counts) is making me conjure up all sorts of plans for numerous (but small) outdoor gatherings. I'm also thinking a lot about friendship in general, and what it's meant throughout my life. In my upcoming book Crooked Lines: A Single Mom's Jewish Journey" I've written about this more than I realized:

"There is something about a circle of close friends that makes you taller, more beautiful and stronger. You can be who you are, and all you have to do is walk in the door and fit like a puzzle piece into a world you own. There are no stairs to climb, no interviews, no auditions; you can plug in and light up the room or shrink to the corner and read a magazine. Whatever you do, you will be part of these people and they will be part of you, whenever you are together...

...{Because} the power we gain in friendships is something else again. I've stood on stages and bowed to a roomful of applause; I've sung harmonies under tents with band mates and thanked strangers for their kindness and praise. But nothing has made me stronger than my friends."

Looking back over the book, I can see it's a lot more than just my journey--it is a journey about how my friends saw me through some of the toughest and most unexpected times. It is also about how they saved me. 

So when a friend travels to see me or gives me a call or does anything out of the ordinary to connect, I want to be there - even in a pandemic - in whatever way possible. Knowing there may be limitations isn't going to stop me any more. I'm just going to figure out my workarounds. 

Because friends can break our hearts - but also mend them And when they call, I want to answer that call. Which means presence--and gratitude.

******

Crooked Lines: A Single Mom's Jewish Journey will be published by Koehler Books on August 30, 2022.

Friendship photo: Ahsan Saeed