Friendship Alley

Today's post is brought to you by a new friend. I made one this week, though I suppose it's been building for a while. When we're younger, friends (and enemies) are everywhere. Hopefully, friends outnumber the enemies. For me, luckily, they have.

Isn't there a saying that you can tell a man (woman's) measure more by enemies than friends? Isak Dinesen had a good line about trying to be a good enemy, too. But I'm rambling. I'm rambling because while I meet new people frequently at my job, I haven't had the time to make many new friends in the past few years and the pandemic hasn't helped, of course.

So it was exciting to be able to see this friend in person, and go out to a store, and hang out with family, but mostly hang out with her, and get to know her a little bit. We'd met in the worst of circumstances that I don't want to go into. But, because of that, our lives are somewhat connected for the near future, at least.

What's really fun for me is that although our lives couldn't be more different, we have a lot more in common than we don't, and it just feels very easy and interesting and kind of shiny to be with her, whatever that means. (But this is not a Prince Charles "whatever love means" moment. I've never had nor do I want one of those.)

Since 2020, I've started to appreciate my friends more and be very grateful for them. This feeling likely started long before that, when a very dear friend died from complications due to cancer. The hole she left was unbearable and irreducible, and I've been trying to make sure I see and appreciate friendships whenever they arrive.

This one again was unexpected, due to circumstances beyond both of our control. Maybe in that way it is all the better for being unexpected, like a deer who leaps into your yard in the early morning before you're usually up -- or walks across your driveway on a winter's night when you just happen to be looking out the window.

Friendships really do bring us places we never thought to go. Sometimes we find these friends without school or work or neighborliness to push us together. Sometimes life takes hold of us and helps us see someone and enjoy their company. Sometimes it's a case of "how did this happen" and then, "who cares?"

Because I know too well I'm lucky, lucky, lucky to have the kind of marriage + friendship I have in my husband. 

But a new friend is, I don't know? A new layer of icing I didn't expect right now. And something I didn't know I needed. 

But oh, mother. I did.

Friendship photo: Helgi Halldorsson