When my son was about four, every kid in the 5K race where I worked got a first prize, which seemed cute but worrisome to me. If we want our kids to earn what they get, and we tell them they all won first prize when clearly they didn't, what exactly are we telling them?
Trying to say this at the time was not a good idea, and didn't get me anywhere. I do remember the day my son actually won a race, when the other boys in said race were making fun of him for being slow.
It was a hot, hot, hot day and a small race with a small neighborhood track team. After half a day of half-hearted running, my son suddenly decided he'd had enough of the other kids' teasing. He gathered whatever was left of his strength and pushed through the heat, like a small racehorse gaining on the other boys and then jumping over the finish line.
I couldn't help being really proud of him then. And I could see what it meant to him to win.
I am not someone who loves competition--and there are often days I want to see everyone winning that first prize. But there are others when I want to stand out, not for being special, but for the work I do or try to do and the work I hope to pass on.
So when a play is produced or a book is published or I win an award or a grant, I want to celebrate, just a little. Not to take anything away from anyone else's work, but to acknowledge I earned the right to be recognized for mine.
And when your kid earns a prize or a award or recognition for whatever he/she does, I think it's OK to applaud and jump up and down screaming!
Just like they'd do for you.
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