Fashion Fast

Balenciaga. Prada. Dior. Burberry. Alexander McQueen. YSL. Gucci. Chanel. So much money! So many followers. Why?

I have never been able to understand it, though as a theater person, I should. Fashion shows are a theatrical experience, but never quite get there, from my point of view. They offer all the cliches of theater without the substance--nothing you go home with is more than what you came with, and even what you came with can diminish after a fashion show. (Confidence, anyone)?

In a world where women are meant to look like boys, (and I do mean little boys), what is the point?

Okay, backing up a little here and trying to be less incendiary -- I admit to liking Alexander McQueen. Ridiculously expensive, yes, but at least the clothes I see are for women, even those with curves. As someone who grew up in a land where thin was always in, there was nothing I could ever do -- being a women with curves -- that would be remotely fashionable.

And yet, as they say in the movies (or somewhere) - fashion is supposed to be fun, right? Can anything that takes itself so damnably seriously ever be fun? I don't know. I had a few years where I was head-over-heels in love with Norma Kamali, mainly because her clothes actually fit me and I looked good in them. And of course, my (now departed) mother would pay for said clothes, if I asked enough. 

Last week, I read about the Balenciaga shows and looked at the article's pictures, SMH. I just don't get how any women could believe anything in that collection would look good on her. Unless she was a 14 year old boy, and then I suppose some of it would? But would that be worth the price tag?

Why are women expected to buy and wear expensive clothes? I thought the gown I bought for my son and daughter-in-law's wedding was expensive, and it was $350. Imagine two more zeros on there and we're approaching fashion-show style.

My favorite outfit growing up was jeans, a leotard, and big, hoopy earrings - the favorite outfit of my leading character in The Beat on Ruby's Street. Long black dresses or skirts and leotards work too, and I still like them. What I decided lately is that what women really need as they're growing up is to learn how to walk and talk.

By walk I don't mean the struts we see in fashion shows. I mean walking into a room with what actors and directors call presence--signifying you are someone, mainly because you believe you are.

By talking, I mean using your voice in a way that conveys expressiveness and warmth.

Walking and talking this way don't compromise your individuality. They help you own it.

That's
my diatribe this week, even though -- God help me - I still like Alexander McQueen. And though I'm not in love with Balenciaga, I have to admit - it's an extremely cool name.

Photo by  Amanda Vick on Unsplash

Tween Talk: That Whole Fashion-Glamour Thing

Holiday time means party and family time--which in my world, also means party clothes and makeup. I have a male friend who says he loves dressing up, wearing women's stockings, eyeliner and mascara.

I asked him, would you love it that much if it was a requirement?

Don't know, he said, but I love it now.

I do like the way heels look, but I hate wearing them. I was never really a makeup person, either, though growing up, I pored over the magazines trying to figure out how to look like the models and wondering why I never could.

I wish I realized then that I had my own style and whatever it is they call "glamour" isn't something you can buy in a magazine. It would have saved me a lot of time crowding around a mirror with the other women and girls in my extended family. Time I could have used.

So, glamour. What is it?

Magazines like Elle, Vogue, GQ, InStyle and yes, Glamour want you to think they know. But is that what we see when we open their pages?

Well, no. 

Not that I have anything against these magazines, but... 

No.

I have never seen anything in their pages that convinces me "I must go out and buy that outfit NOW!" Not even once.

So what IS this whole glamour thing? If you want to talk about with your tweens, what do you say?

I DON'T think it's about some fashion guru's sense of fashion. I DO think you can dress yourself and look exceptional IF you have confidence. Things like weight, body type, hair color, and even what you are wearing matter a whole lot less than you (and your teens and tweens) think.

In writing about a girl growing up in the Beat Generation, I don't touch on fashion very much, but Beat fashion, such as it was, can be summed up pretty simply: leotards, leggings, jeans, and lots of black (did they really wear berets)?  It was mostly form, not fashion, and I think it was really supposed to be about not caring about what they wore.

In The Beat on Ruby's Street, Ruby's mother Nell says "Pretty fades, but cool is forever."  I think that's what Beats believed, and I stand behind that. 

Because glamour isn't about money or conventional beauty or having a new power outfit every five minutes. It's about how you carry yourself. 

You can't buy that. You have to live it. And the reason people look so good in movies is because they figured out how to stand up well, physically and emotionally and be who they are, fully and without apology.

That doesn't fade, and can only get better with time, yes? 

If only we could sell it. Like a magazine.

Hands & toes photo: Katie Tegtmeyer


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Heel Envy

Confession: I love high heels. I love the way they look in stores; love how they make us look taller, more feminine and hot.

Confession: I cannot wear them. I have tried multiple times in multiple ways and the answer is always no. On the rare occasions when I've worn them to parties and stood around for a few hours, my back has screamed at me for days and even weeks.

I don't have a daughter, but if I did, I would certainly let her try them out as a teen, hoping her back was stronger than mine. Not sure I'd encourage an 11-year-old, though, and certainly not someone younger.

But I'd also want to caution a daughter (or young friend) about how closely connected your feet are to the rest of you, and make sure she had plenty of tennis shoes, running shoes and boots without heels too. When I was a teenager I more or less rebelled against fashion and followed role models who didn't care about it either.

Some of my anti-heel sentiments came from watching  my mother, who wore killer heels since forever and who fell weekly once she reached her 60s. I vowed never to wear any shoes that would trip me up like that--and I've stuck to it ever since.

As for role models, one of my favorite old-time movies was The Barefoot Contessa with Ava Gardner, who said she always wanted to feel the earth beneath her feet. I always thought there was something impossibly romantic about that and wanted to live my life in a place where I could mostly be barefoot, too. (Go figure, I wound up in Minnesota).

But my husband loves high heels and there are days when I wish I could wear them. Maybe I'll have to buy a pair I can wear to a restaurant and spend most of the time sitting down. Then again, what's the point if you can't walk in them? Isn't that what you're supposed to be doing when you wear high heels?

The other thing I can't figure out is how dancers manage to dance in them. One of life's mysteries, I guess, or maybe they're just in such great shape they don't mind? Or else, they're so used to hurting everywhere they don't really care?

Do you wear heels? Would you want or not want your daughter to wear them, and why? You can comment here or send me a note via jennazark.com - I'd love to know.

In the meantime, here's what I found on the subject:

How Old, How High: My Guide to High Heels: Project Inspired
Little Girls and Heels: What to Expect
What Age Should Daughters Start to Wear Heels:Circle of Moms

Coffee Cup Heels: Arne Hendricks

Kid in heels: Dan4th Nicholas