Fashion Fast

Balenciaga. Prada. Dior. Burberry. Alexander McQueen. YSL. Gucci. Chanel. So much money! So many followers. Why?

I have never been able to understand it, though as a theater person, I should. Fashion shows are a theatrical experience, but never quite get there, from my point of view. They offer all the cliches of theater without the substance--nothing you go home with is more than what you came with, and even what you came with can diminish after a fashion show. (Confidence, anyone)?

In a world where women are meant to look like boys, (and I do mean little boys), what is the point?

Okay, backing up a little here and trying to be less incendiary -- I admit to liking Alexander McQueen. Ridiculously expensive, yes, but at least the clothes I see are for women, even those with curves. As someone who grew up in a land where thin was always in, there was nothing I could ever do -- being a women with curves -- that would be remotely fashionable.

And yet, as they say in the movies (or somewhere) - fashion is supposed to be fun, right? Can anything that takes itself so damnably seriously ever be fun? I don't know. I had a few years where I was head-over-heels in love with Norma Kamali, mainly because her clothes actually fit me and I looked good in them. And of course, my (now departed) mother would pay for said clothes, if I asked enough. 

Last week, I read about the Balenciaga shows and looked at the article's pictures, SMH. I just don't get how any women could believe anything in that collection would look good on her. Unless she was a 14 year old boy, and then I suppose some of it would? But would that be worth the price tag?

Why are women expected to buy and wear expensive clothes? I thought the gown I bought for my son and daughter-in-law's wedding was expensive, and it was $350. Imagine two more zeros on there and we're approaching fashion-show style.

My favorite outfit growing up was jeans, a leotard, and big, hoopy earrings - the favorite outfit of my leading character in The Beat on Ruby's Street. Long black dresses or skirts and leotards work too, and I still like them. What I decided lately is that what women really need as they're growing up is to learn how to walk and talk.

By walk I don't mean the struts we see in fashion shows. I mean walking into a room with what actors and directors call presence--signifying you are someone, mainly because you believe you are.

By talking, I mean using your voice in a way that conveys expressiveness and warmth.

Walking and talking this way don't compromise your individuality. They help you own it.

That's
my diatribe this week, even though -- God help me - I still like Alexander McQueen. And though I'm not in love with Balenciaga, I have to admit - it's an extremely cool name.

Photo by  Amanda Vick on Unsplash

SCOTUS Rules on Hoodies

This week's blog got sidelined by the Supreme Court decision to  allow a trademark for the clothing brand that starts with an F (and ends with a t, and you know what it sounds like.)

What struck me first about it was how far we've come, since the 1950s, to being stunningly and spectacularly superficial. I've written about this before, but in 1957 the obscenity trial for Allen Ginsberg's poem Howl at least put a POET on trial, not a trademark. And I can't help but wonder how we got from words to threads, and why we even consider the trademark for said threads a story.

Not that I have anything against those hoodies and T-shirts or the company making them. I'm glad for the free-speech ruling and all that. I just want a more compelling case to be decided at the highest level of justice. Silly me.

I also wish the Supreme Court gave the same kind of attention to matters like gerrymandering, which is robbing whole communities of the right to vote IN their communities by making up fake boundaries. In case you don't know much about it, gerrymandering is what happens when a political group tries to change a voting district so the result will help them win.

The practice basically robs all of us of having our votes counted the way they should be counted. That's why the Supreme Court was asked to rule on it. While clothing named F-T seemed to get judges' undies in a bundle, so to speak, the majority at SCOTUS decided to say gerrymandering was A-OK.

At the same time, Justice Elena Kagan wrote for the minority of three judges in the court, by saying, 

Of all the times to abandon the Court's duty to declare the law, this was not the one. The practices challenged in these cases imperil our system of government.

But, the majority ruled, and in this case, ruled against us. While no one can know what they might have done in an obscenity trial like Ginsberg's, we know how they feel about T-shirts and hoodies. And about leaving the rest of us, well. F-CT.

Supreme Courthouse Photo:  John Brighenti

Kids and Clothes: Who Decides?

Do you stand in front of your closet fitfully in the morning, trying to decide what to wear? If you decided the night before, do you change your mind once you see yourself in the mirror?

Not every day, but yes, I have done this and still do it. I was fortunate in some ways to have a son because his peers (if not him) were less interested in being supremely fashionable at every moment. Not meaning to be sexist here, but having been a girl in middle school, I remember some pretty awful times when my clothes (and I) were judged harshly.

Girls can be brutal about this sort of thing. On the other hand, my son had extremely strong opinions about what he should wear and what sort of hair cut he needed. At one point, he badgered me about getting tips of his dark hair frosted blonde, and after a month or so I consented. "It looked terrible. Why did you let me do that?" he asked recently, after looking at an old picture of himself.

"So you'd leave me alone," I replied. The truth is, I find dressing myself so exhausting, I have barely any brain space to dress anyone else.

Meanwhile, my son also tried an earring at one point,  due to the example of an older stepbrother at his father's house. My husband complained that he didn't like hearing his wife and son discussing earring choices. I can't really say I blame him, because I had hoped having a son would buy us tickets into a fashionista-free zone. No such luck.

On the other hand, I am still convinced a girl would have been worse--really much worse, based on my own experience. My middle-school peers had strict rules about where you were supposed to buy your clothes, and they were often far more expensive than I could afford.

In high school, I found ways around that by wearing jeans, and to be fair, my high school was a LOT cooler than my middle school by virtue of being a LOT more diverse. It gave me the basis for a different way of looking at things, and a window into the kind of Beat Generation community I created in The Beat on Ruby's Street.

Right now, though, I'm thinking about how we choose clothes for our kids. I learned to always bring my son with me to pick out whatever he needed, whether it was jeans, shorts, bathing suits or winter coats. If I didn't, I ended up bringing the clothes back because he refused to wear them. So unless you are part of a religious community where dress codes are prescribed, (and maybe then too?) I think it's a good idea to at least consult them about what they wear.

I'm not saying they have to have the final decision. If you feel uncomfortable with something your kid chooses, tell them. If they balk, ask them who pays for their clothes (and remind them it's you, if necessary.) If you and your spouse or ex-spouse don't agree, then you need to hash it out and ask your kid why he or she is making the choice to wear the outfit in question.

All in all, though, I think kids mostly figure out a middle-ground of dressing that isn't too extreme, but you need to give them some of your hard-earned wisdom and guidance (whether they're listening nor not). 

Because it IS our job as parents to make sure we're involved in their decisions. Otherwise, you're likely to wind up with an eleven year old who wears earrings and dyes his hair.

Oops. Well. At least his hair was never purple.

For more on this topic, I found these posts:

Teaching Kids to Dress Their Age

Don't Buy It Guide

Photo of kids with dyed hair: joey zanotti