Want a Debt Free Kid? Helicopter Away

I tried, and failed, to get my son to avoid debt on his credit card. I would have modeled paying it off each month, but he was seldom around when I paid bills, and just telling someone to pay them off each month isn't enough, I've found, to get him or her to do it.

Now, he has run up about a $2,900 credit card bill and I cringe just to think of it. He has promised to pay it off once he graduates because his school is supposed to be giving him about $2,500. I hope so. I will let you know.

I've written about money before, but not credit card debt, because I wasn't aware of it earlier. Now I am, it makes total sense, since credit cards bombard our kids daily with offers and will always win unless we can figure out how to stop them.

Obviously, I did not.

I suppose I should have started early and drummed it into my son's head that you have to pay off each month's bills religiously. I was involved in trying to teach him so many other things, this one slipped through the cracks. But it sounds like all I'm doing now is looking for excuses, and maybe I am.

Never mind the shoulda-woulda-coulda stuff. If you can possibly stand to be a true helicopter parent when it comes to hovering over your kid and teaching them how to stay out of debt, I recommend it. The FIRST time they want something, meaning as little kids, start an allowance and make them save up to get it. Do this for at least one thing they want every year until they are close to ten years old.

And oh, make them work for it. Carrying out the garbage, raking leaves, cleaning the house (not just their rooms) are where I'd start. My house looked like a hurricane hit it for too long until I started paying my son to clean up his mess. But he should have been cleaning it up and doing a lot more than that. (What did I say about excuses)?

When your son or daughter becomes a tween, show them your budget and sit them down to make one. If I tell you how many times I wished I'd done this, you'll stop visiting me here. But trust me, you're going to want your kid to know how to budget better than mine does--I promise you.

If your kid wants more than one thing, tell them they have to choose one and defer buying the other until they've saved the money. Open a bank account that belongs to them and encourage them to save a little bit each week.

Finally, you can't keep the credit card companies from overwhelming your kid with offers when he or she goes to college. You CAN keep asking them if they are paying it off (and make that a mantra every night before they go to sleep, along with prayers or whatever they say at bedtime).

Thou shalt pay off thy credit card bills monthly. Thou shalt not run up a debt throughout the year.

Do this and you can avoid my excuses. And here's a few more tips for you on how to raise children who don't get into debt:

9 Ways to Teach Your Kids About Money

Teaching Kids About Money & Finance

20 Tips for Keeping Your Kids Debt Free


Credit card bill time photo: Jason Rogers

Kids. Money. Scream.

Just the word alone can make you nervous. Puts kids and money in the same sentence and you’re really in for a scare. Is there a way to teach your kids about money without going bonkers?

I have no idea. My approach was best described as "whatever works," if not completely haphazard.

We had chores, we had allowances, we had plenty of “no” responses to requests for things, and then we had too many presents on holidays, and I promise you:

I still have no clue about what I was doing or not doing--let alone if I was doing it right.

I have no idea if my son knows the real value of a dollar, five dollars or fifty, for that matter. He was really good at getting out of chores, but we nagged at him, and eventually he would do them, money or no.

On the other hand, we bribed him to do all kinds of things (homework, ironing, cleaning the salamander tank). Bribing is not recommended with kids, but in the real world, you do it, especially if you are desperate to get something done.

What about you? Do you get your kids to “earn” every dollar? What are your plans about helping them pay for college? (Ours got lucky because a grandparent died and left some money behind).

What about figuring out a consistent approach to money with co-parents after a divorce? (Cue incessant laughter from the audience).

What about grad school? (Don’t get me started). What about saving for your own retirement? Going through a recession and losing your job and wondering what you were going to do about all the expenses including college?

What about… putting your head under a pillow and screaming for the next 20 years?

The only thing that I think really worked well concerning teaching my son something about money was a job he took during high school at a masonry business. The owner was so mean and the work was so hard, he decided he really wanted to go to college because he didn’t ever want to work his life away in a place like that.

Of course, I had nothing to do with this decision or this lesson. So I can’t even take credit for it. But are artists really supposed to know how to be "smart" about money? What does that even mean? 

And no, I don't mean to use being an artist as an excuse, because it isn't. I just can't hold myself up as an example, and if you knew me, I'm sure you wouldn't want me to. As a complete failure at coming up with good tips on this topic, the only thing I can do is share some articles from people who, hopefully, know better:

Teaching Children Money Habits for Life

The Smart Way to Teach Children about Money

7 Ways Smart Parents Teach their Kids about Money

Hope they work for you!

Baby with money photo: familytreasures